sarahsleepyhead: 2019

TRIGGER WARNING! Weight loss/ diet

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

This post will contain diet/weight loss talk, before and after pictures and ED mentions

Back in February this year my life was a little... up in the air I guess. Mum had been fighting cancer and had now just lost her leg!
Husband and I decided (or rather I’d changed my mind) that we wanted another child but I convinced myself I needed to lose some weight first so I went to see my GP.
Now, I was expecting a “sure we’ll refer you to Physiotherapy to increase your activity levels” at best or “okay eat less move more here’s a leaflet about diabetes” at worst.
I’ve not exactly had the most helpful doctors in the past... but my current GP is great! She had never once mentioned my weight herself. I told her I needed some help to lose weight, that I’d tried so many different things for over a decade but nothing had worked. She said to me “of course you haven’t managed it alone, with being too disabled to exercise enough, having PCOS and medications that cause weight gain you are fighting a losing battle!”
SHE UNDERSTOOD! A HEALTH PROFESSIONAL UNDERSTANDING THAT ITS JUST NOT THAT EASY!!

So, she prescribed me orlistat; orlistat is a medication that prevents your body from absorbing fat from the food that you eat.

She explained to me that this is not just a magic pill, I still had to make some changes to my diet. She straight up said “if you eat too much fat on these you’ll shit yourself without warning, just like walking down the street and you’ll shit yourself” YIKESSS

So I went home and did some research and joined a couple of FB groups for people who take this pill to figure out what I needed to change. Everyone said the best thing to do was stick to 15g or less of fat per meal - 3 meals a day. So I looked at my weekly meal plan and the things I ate on a regular basis to see what I needed to change... as it turned out I didn’t actually have to make any huge changes, just a few little tweaks here and there, things like switching to skimmed milk and low fat butter, baking things instead of frying them. Easy changes.

I think the reason I’ve been able to stick on this “diet” all year is that it hasn’t felt like a diet at all, I still eat all the things I used to, I don’t feel restricted or always hungry, heck I eat chocolate most days!

I did worry going in to this that having to calorie count and keep tract of fat and have constant weigh ins at the doctor was going to be hella triggering for me... I did have a couple of little blips I won’t lie - but for the most part I’ve been okay with it.

So far I have lost 3 stone 6.6 (or 48.6lbs)
I’m not dieting this week because Christmas but I’m actually looking forward to getting back on it Jan 1st.

Christmas makeup pictorial 2

Pack a bright red shadow just above the crease

Blend towards the brow

Cut the crease with white concealer

Pack a bright green shadow on to the lid leaving a line of concealer between the green and red shadow, use a small liner brush with the same concealer to go back in and clean up the line if needed.

Add a large wing with white liner

Using red liquid lipstick add red candy stripes to the white liner - you can use the white liner to try and tidy up any messy lines.

Add stipes with gold glitter liner next to the red.

Next do a smaller wing in black liner

Smudge some black shadow on the outer corner of the lower lashline then smoke out the red.

Finish off with lashes, Green eyeliner on the waterline and highlight the brow bone and inner corner.

Christmas makeup look

As always start with base and brows

Blend a light green shade from crease to brow

intensify with darker green

cut the crease

Add black winged liner

Then gold glitter liner

Blend red shadow along the lower lash line

finish off with liner and lashes

OOTD: general election

I have some feelings you guys...
I’m worried about my future mostly, and the future of other vulnerable and minority people in the uk.
I was feeling so optimistic Thursday, I guess like most people I’ve creased an echo chamber on social media, most of my friends and people I follow share the same views and opinions as myself so I really expected a different outcome.

Oh well, if nothing else this outfit got me 1.4k likes and around 60 new Instagram followers 😂
Gotta look on the bright side, right?

T-shirt: Amazon

OOTD: I’m still punk right?

The outfit I wear while I fold laundry and listen to rage against the machine

Bodysuit: eBay size 22

Bra: primark

Skirt: eBay size 22

Tights: primark

Socks: eBay

OOTD: going out out

Hello my freaky darlings! How are you all?!

On Thursday I had the rare opportunity for a night out - my friends band (chop suey system of a down cover band, currently on a uk tour and I highly recommend going if you get the chance)
Were playing locally so I headed out to support them. The gig was amazing and after I got to sit and have a much needed drink and a catch up with my friend, I don’t get much adult interaction these days 😂 I didn’t want to leave!

Anyway - this is what I wore, I am a bit gutted that I looked this good and no one offered to buy me a drink though 😒😂

Top: eBay size 3x

Bra: Primark

Skirt: boohoo size 22

Belt: boohoo

Tights: Primark

Socks: eBay

Bonus pic: find the Sarah

First look using the Shane x Jeffree star collection

First start with brows and a base, I used Anastasia Beverly Hills dipbrow pomade in graphite and P.louise base in rumour 0.

Using a large fluffy brush blend “diet root beer” from the conspiracy palette (or any medium brown shade) from the crease towards the brow.

Then using a flat synthetic packing brush apply the shade “not a fact” (or any matte burgundy shade) to the lid.

Then taking a smaller tapered blending brush with a tiny bit of that same lid shade blend up in to the crease and towards the brow.

Using your finger apply shade “sleep paralysis” (or a similar light coloured shimmer) to the inner 1/3 of your lid

Next using a flat packer brush apply the shade "my apology" from the mini controversy palette (or similar red/burgundy shimmer) to the middle of the lid and blend the edges in to the other shades.

Using a small round brush deepen the outer corner with shade “my ride’s here” (or other matte black) using small circular motions

Using a flat brush blend “not a fact” down from the lower lash line, use a little bit of “diet root beer” on a small fluffy brush to smoke out the edges. Finally using a small flat brush highlight the brow bone and inner corners with shade “ranch”

Add mascara, lashes and liner to complete the look. I used colourpop creme gel liner in “call me”, primark amplif-eyed mascara and tatti lashes style TL39

OOTD: Autumn witch

Hello my freaky darlings! it's been a while!

I know I explained in my last post that I've really been struggling lately and the fatigue still has just not let up and I haven't been able to post as much as I'd like to, so I think it's about time for a wee life update.

So since I last posted I have gotten a new tattoo:

This was both the easiest and hardest tattoo I've ever had done 😂 the first like, 5 hours were absolutely fine, I was expecting it to be vile so I was quite surprised that it hurt way less than the back of my thighs, then half an hour right before the end was excruciating, the bits right under my boobs, I wanted to die! then it was fine again for the last half hour when she finished the middle.
THEEEEEEN I had an allergic reaction to the aftercare I was using (dermalize) so I was so uncomfortable for ages. I love it though! body image issues? slap a tattoo on it, problem solved 😆

Then I went to see A1 - a band I was OBSSESSED WITH as a child, I literally waited 20 years to see them. There was a slight problem though, the Shane Dawson x Jeffree Star collection was releasing ONE HOUR before I had to be at the venue! so I'm sitting on the london underground without wifi worrying that I won't be above ground in time for the launch, got to St Pancras with about half an hour to go though so decided to sit in starbucks and wait there. Bang on 5pm both Jay and I are refreshing beautybay and morphe desperately trying to get our hands on the whole collection but just like almost everyone else we couldn't get on the websites, everything had completely crashed! I was stressed lol. Time was getting on, it was around 5:30 and I was getting close to giving up - we needed to eat and get to the venue then suddenly beautybay started to load! it took me another 15 mins but I managed to snag the whole collection! I was over the moon, at 45 mins after launch I thought all hope was lost. unfortunately they did have to refund the gloss because they had over sold that item but I got the rest and I'll be posting a look with it soon. ANYWAY - 15 mins to go and we needed to get to the venue - we grabbed a quick sandwich and hopped in a taxi, luckily the venue wasn't too far away.

The gig was incredible and I had the most wonderful time, then after it finished we hung around by the stage door for a bit and I was lucky enough to meet 3 out of the 4 members! BEST. DAY. EVER!

And so on to today - I'm up and dressed because my mum is moving! She's been super lucky, she's been given a new build fully wheelchair accessable bungalow which is amazing, she's currently in a house with the only bathroom being upstairs and since her leg amputation back in febuary she's been almost completely bedbound. I'm so excited for her to have some indipendance back.

ANYWAY, here is my outfit of the day

Hat: killstar

Dress: Boohoo (sold out)

Top: Ebay (sold out)

Belt: Boohoo

Leggings: Boohoo (sold out)

Boots: Killstar

OOTD: tired.

Hello my freaky darling!

So I haven't done a lot of blogging the past couple of months, I've really been stuggling.
I threw my back out at the beginning of august and since then I have been battling one of the most intense fibro flares I've ever had, on top of that I'm now on day 15 of a cold/chest infection that doesn't seem to be improving. I am TIRED! I am tired like you wouldn't even believe. I'm sleeping 15 hours a day waking up exhauted and going back to bed a few hours later tired.
This is the part of being chronically ill that is the hardest, the fatigue; pain I can cope with to an extent and when I can no longer cope I can take pain killers or have a hot bath or use a heating pad, there are things I can do about the pain, fatigue is different, there is no fix for it and no amount of sleep makes it go away. I'm starting to get frustrated with myself for not just shaking it off and getting on with it even though I KNOW thats not how it works.

I missed out on so much of the summer because of this illness, I went to london for 10 days to have a bit of a holiday but ended up spending all but 1 day in doors because I was just too exhausted to function. I had to cancel a friend coming to stay with me for my birthday because I was just too ill.
I feel like a rubbish mother because I can't do as much with my child as I would like to, I feel like a rubbish wife because being so exhausted makes me snippy and short tempered and I take it out on Jay (not that I mean to) and I feel like a rubbish friend because I have to cancel plans at the last moment and I miss peoples messages because I'm too tired to respond and then I forget to at all.

I'm tired.