So I haven't done a lot of blogging the past couple of months, I've really been stuggling.
I threw my back out at the beginning of august and since then I have been battling one of the most intense fibro flares I've ever had, on top of that I'm now on day 15 of a cold/chest infection that doesn't seem to be improving. I am TIRED! I am tired like you wouldn't even believe. I'm sleeping 15 hours a day waking up exhauted and going back to bed a few hours later tired.
This is the part of being chronically ill that is the hardest, the fatigue; pain I can cope with to an extent and when I can no longer cope I can take pain killers or have a hot bath or use a heating pad, there are things I can do about the pain, fatigue is different, there is no fix for it and no amount of sleep makes it go away. I'm starting to get frustrated with myself for not just shaking it off and getting on with it even though I KNOW thats not how it works.
I missed out on so much of the summer because of this illness, I went to london for 10 days to have a bit of a holiday but ended up spending all but 1 day in doors because I was just too exhausted to function. I had to cancel a friend coming to stay with me for my birthday because I was just too ill.
I feel like a rubbish mother because I can't do as much with my child as I would like to, I feel like a rubbish wife because being so exhausted makes me snippy and short tempered and I take it out on Jay (not that I mean to) and I feel like a rubbish friend because I have to cancel plans at the last moment and I miss peoples messages because I'm too tired to respond and then I forget to at all.
I'm tired.
Top: Killstar XXL
Shorts: Primark
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